Been a mind game a bit over the last few days.
For various reasons, I've slipped here and there with my mental callisthenics if you will. It's so very important not to chose to wander into "IF Only" land. Nothing good comes of it and it's psychologically destructive. You have what's in front of you and that's it.
I phrase it that way specifically because it is a choice. My friend would term it "a well trained elephant". In more common terms, though I like the elephant/rider better, your conscious mind doesn't control your subconscious, but it does influence it.
Basically, you wake up and you have what's in front of you.
Coming out of a coma years ago was rather instructive in this. You wake up and think... Ok... I'm in the shit... what do I have to work with here? It's very focusing.
A good analogy is selling a car or house that you've had to put a lot of money into. People very often fall into the trap of trying to recoup this "lost" money. But in fact, it's "lost". You have your car/house. That's it. It's worth what it's worth and that's all. There is no difference between it and an equal simply because you put money into it. It's not easy of course, but that's the way it is.
Sometimes it just takes reminding yourself... "ok, what do I have to work with here".
I've got a lot.